music: phones ringing in the office...
reading: emails... THE EMAIL NEVER STOPS

everyone needs one of this giant rants at some point in time...

things I don't like about myself, take one:

- I wish I liked vegetables. It'd make life probably a little more interesting and a little easier. I wouldn't have to be picky at restaurants with friends, and I wouldn't have to be the one that picks everything off of her pizza.

- I wish I wasn't so insensible. Two AM? Three AM? Doesn't matter. I'm ready to party and I'm ready to roadtrip. I don't really consider work the next day, or that other people I'm with have to drive, etc.

- I'm always ready to go. Where? Oh, anywhere interesting. I can't remember the last time I turned someone down for anything: ice cream, shopping, mountain hiking, dinner, movies, going to the gym... I always put things off unless it's an absolute total priority, and everything can always wait.

- I always put friends first, and feel like I have to take care of everyone. I get this from my dad, and I don't know why. Out to dinner? I'm paying. Let me go out of my way for you, for no reason other than we're friends. I think this freaks people out.

- I am horrible, horrible at receiving compliments. Most of the time I respond with something brushing it off or making fun of the person who complimented me, making them feel stupid. Way to go there, champ.

- I don't take care of my finances very well. Let's leave this one alone.

- I don't hold things to value. Don't get me wrong, I HAVE things of value. I just don't treat them as if they were valuable... Like my college diploma getting bent up and crumpled on my desk.

- I don't talk to people before like 9:30 am. I just don't. I am still waking up at this point and I don't want to speak to anyone.

- I have this thing where one of my friends is in a bad mood, and I decide to crack jokes and be silly to cheer them up. A lot of times they just continue to be in a bad (maybe worse) mood. Sigh.

- I don't look good in heels.

- I wish I was more decisive and less abrasive.

- I wish I knew what you were thinking this morning.